Critical Examination

“I read, I study, I examine, I listen, I think, and out of all that I try to form an idea into which I put as much common sense as I can.”  -Marquis de Lafayette

Addiction is everywhere.  Yeah, alcohol and drugs are dangerous but they aren’t at the root of what is destroying people.  I listen to a lot of podcasts and a lot of lectures.  One of my most difficult addictions is learning.  My brain doesn’t shut off.  At the end of the day, I didn’t learn enough.  At times, there is no balance and perspective can just fly out the window.  Even though I see this as a problem, why does it seem so difficult to rid myself of this burden?  It’s unneeded stress that comes from an unworthy place.  It’s slavery due to a lack of discipline and coping skills in the face of opposition.  Unfortunately, this isn’t only my story.  Replace learning with whatever vice you have and I probably just wrote your biography too.

There are so many negative avenues available and to many broken people taking advantage of them.  There are holes in our foundations.  These holes cause one of two reactions; we either fix the holes or we complain that there are reasons out of our control that prevents fixing them.  Our justifications lead our thoughts to a place where we don’t look at ourselves with critical examination like we need.  We aren’t doing ourselves any favors by sticking our heads in the sand and making excuses.

Even though I do feel trapped at times in my unmet expectations, I have taken the crucial step in deciding that I have a major flaw that is affecting my character and my thoughts.  I have admitted to myself that I have a problem which I will either get off the couch and fix or continue to make more excuses.  The responsibility is solely and rightfully placed on me.  I had to decide to look in the mirror before I look out the window for solutions.  It can be hard but the honesty is what allows me to know what I actually need.  This is a decision I make because it forces me to see the hole that i’ve dug for myself.  I am grateful I don’t want to be in that hole…  That pain of where I am leads me to look elsewhere for what I need in order to rid myself of it.

I encourage everyone to critically examine themselves.  There is an intentionality about it that leaves no room for justification.  Just me admitting my flaw of unmet expectations in learning is intentional.  I have now bet on myself which gives me everything I need to break my addictions.  When it comes to complacency, we all have to choose that today we aren’t having that.

Addictions are real and they are strong, however, we can overcome them by being brutally honest with ourselves about our holes.  Fix them and you will adjust the common denominator in your core beliefs; making addictions manageable to deal with or non-existing at all. The worth of a person goes up, the confidence goes up, and the self-image is at new heights.  Check yourself on the daily and determine whether you will fight or flee.  It’s the most humbling place to start.

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